When you're munching crunchy apples,

or you're slurping up your soup,

When you're eating crackly crisps

all on your own or in a group,

When you're crunching up your cornflakes

or you're popping bubblegum

or you're sucking at an orange

with such squelches that your mum says,

"Can't you eat more quietly, that noise is rather rude!"

It's then you say, "It's not my fault.

I'm eating noisy food."

by Marian Swinger